dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
