the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
