I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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