JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
