You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
