Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
