Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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