my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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