Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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