Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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