I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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