i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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