Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize