Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
