Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
