8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize