it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
