let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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