i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
