:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
