I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
