I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
