ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
