If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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