Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
