He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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