He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
