Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
