are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
