I hate all girls vehemently.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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