She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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