Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
