I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
