He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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