This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
