This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
