Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
