Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize