that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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