Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's blow job season.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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