Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
