you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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