Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
