I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've changed since you got that strap on
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