Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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