I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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