It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
