Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
