Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
