we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize