i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
