i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
