i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
