Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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