New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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