'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
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