Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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