He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
