Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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