i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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