I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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