so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need water and some morals
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
