But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
