even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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