Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
