Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
