i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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