So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
