nutella sex= disaster
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
