yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
