ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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