So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
