why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
