at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
