Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
