Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
