He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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