is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
