what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
