What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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