I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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