hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
