Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
