Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
